It Should've Been Me
by Paul Andrew Young
Summary: Based on a prompt/theory I saw on Instagram by rebels trivia (TheRogueSaint on here) about Ursa Wren dying in Zero Hour


It had been a close call for the Rebels. Thrawn and his troops had been swift and ruthless, countless fellow rebels had been cut down during their attack on Atollon. Now, what was left of the Rebel fleet was in hyperspace, heading towards the planet Dantooine. The Ghost crew were gathered in the cockpit standing in front of a hologram of Commander Sato, being projected by Chopper.

"Jovjay Higsgoss" Commander Sato read out. A momentary pause, followed by a single bell chime. "Athelis Freccrab", another pause, then chime. "Helcar Clavfaus", another pause, then chime. "Ursa Wren" That name sent chills down Ezra's spine. He lowered his head even further, guilt and remorse surged through him like an arrow piercing his chest. In front of him, Sabine and her brother, Tristan were holding on to each other, trying their best to keep it together.

"Amartyre Laswhak" another pause, another chime. "These brave men and women gave their lives for us, for this alliance, for this cause, in the hopes that future generations will live in a galaxy without tyranny, without oppression and without fear. We mourn their passing, but we also honour their contributions. May their souls rest in peace."

The memorial service ended and the hologram of Commander Sato disappeared.

 _"Come on, let's get out of here!" Ezra yelled through his microphone, running on the hull of an Imperial Starship that was falling fast. The Mandalorians he was with obliged, propelling themselves towards the Ghost, which was hovering a few clicks away, waiting for them with the loading door open._

 _"Hang on!" he heard Sabine say as she wrapped her arm securely around him and shot upwards. This time, he didn't scream. A few seconds later, they were in the loading bay with the other Mandalorians._

 _"Mom!" Sabine yelled, looking back towards the falling starship._

 _"My jetpacks dead! I can't fly!" Ezra heard over the commlink. He rushed towards the opening to see Ursa Wren still standing on the hull of the falling ship, waving frantically._

 _"I'm gonna try and lift you up here." He told her before extending his arm. Slowly, Ursa Wren began to rise, floating away from the Imperial Starship. She drifted closer and closer towards the Ghost._

 _"Take my hand!" Sabine yelled, reaching out for her mother. Almost there, just a little more, a little more..._

 _An explosion. A scream. And then, Ursa's lifeless body with a hole burnt through it..._

Ezra's eyes shot open. He was panting heavily, covered in perspiration. He sat up and pulled his shirt off to wipe his sweat covered face with it.

"It's all my fault..." he muttered. "I'm sorry, Sabine.". He thought he would've gotten used to the feeling of failure after all the operations he botched. But to see Sabine's mother die in front of him, even worse, to let her die in front of Sabine and the rest of Clan Wren! The level of guilt and shame was indescribable.

As he turned to lie back down, he curled himself up into a ball and closed his eyes, the only thought running through his mind was "It should've been me that died."

 _It was dark. Really dark. And he was alone in this darkness._

 _"Hello?" Ezra called, receiving no response at first._

 _"It's all Ezra's fault." he heard, in a voice that was definitely Sabine. There she was, standing a few metres apart, facing away from him. He could hear her sobbing. Getting to his feet, he made his way towards her._

 _"Sabine?" he called, reaching out to her. "I'm... I'm sorry..." he said, placing a hand on her shoulder, only for her to spin around, push his hand away and shove him to the floor._

 _"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" she yelled, anguished. Then, more figures started walking out of the darkness, towards Ezra._

 _"You destroyed the Phantom!" Hera scolded_

 _"You blinded me!" Kanan snarled._

 _"I'm dead because of you!" Ahsoka snapped._

 _"We lost an A-wing because of you!" an officer added._

 _"You nearly got us killed trying to steal those Y-wings!" Zeb growled_

 _"We can no longer afford a liability like you." Commander Sato said sternly._

 _An opening appeared behind Ezra, revealing the plains of Lothal. Sabine and Kanan picked him up by his arms and threw him through the opening, onto the grass._

 _"No, wait!" he called, running back towards the Freighter. But they ignored him and turned away. The loading bay door closed and the Ghost blasted off, knocking him back with its engine blast. "Guys, please! NO!" He cried out, hoping that maybe they would hear him. Obviously, they didn't or they ignored him because the Ghost continued upwards, disappearing above the clouds._

 _From above those clouds, came a TIE fighter, it's engine screaming its familiar roar as it dived towards Ezra. It started shooting the ground in front of Ezra, the line of fire getting closer to him But he no longer had the will to run and avoid it. He just stood there, tears rolling down his face as he waited for the TIE to blast him to pieces._

Ezra awoke with a gasp, on the floor of the cabin, panting and crying. Zeb was still asleep, probably drained from the battle fending off the Empire's AT-ATs.

 _'What's the point in sleeping? I'll just have more nightmares...'_ Ezra thought, sighing. Worse, everyone was asleep, as far as he knew. So there was no one to talk to or comfort him. Then again, maybe being alone was exactly what he needed. Throwing his sweat soaked shirt on to his shoulder, Ezra left his cabin and walked towards the cockpit.

When the door slid open, he was expecting an empty cockpit. But instead, there was someone else in the cockpit. This person had pink hair which was white at the tips and they were sitting in Sabine's chair. "Oh no," Ezra muttered, reaching for the button to close the door. Too late, Sabine had turned around and saw him.

"Ezra?" she called, just as the door closed and Ezra ran off, his shirt falling from his shoulder on to the floor. "Ezra!" he heard her calling for him, the cockpit door sliding open.

"I can't... I can't..." he muttered, reaching the galley and searching for a place to hide. He spotted the vent compartment that the crew had kept him in when he first met them on Lothal. No one would be able to disturb him in the ship's vents and he could crawl out whenever he wanted to.

Ezra pressed the red button to open the compartment and tore the vent panel from its place. He stuck his head in and tried to crawl into his safe haven. But his new height and size made him much too big to fit into the air vents he had no problems crawling through a few months ago.

"Ezra?" he heard.

"Karabast!" he cursed, desperate to get into the vents and away from her. Unfortunately, he only managed to get a few inches deeper in before he found himself stuck at the entrance, his legs sticking out.

"Need a hand?" he heard Sabine ask from behind him.

"No, just go away," Ezra replied. When he felt her pulling on his legs, he kicked her arms away. "No, seriously, Sabine. Just go back to the cockpit and leave me here."

"Why? I was hoping for someone to talk to," she said, grabbing hold of Ezra's legs. She started trying to pull him out.

"I should be the last person you want to talk to," Ezra replied. Sabine picked up on his tone, it wasn't like what she was used to hearing from the quippy, hopeful Jedi Padawan. Instead, there was sadness and nothing else.

"Even if you were, you are the only one that's awake right now. So who else am I supposed I talk to?" she reminded him, just as she managed to pull him out of the vents.

"You wanna put this on?" she asked, handing him his shirt. He grabbed it from her and put it on.

Sabine sat down on the galley seat and patted the spot for Ezra to join her. He wouldn't even face her, let alone talk to her. He just sat on the floor, forehead against his knees, back towards her. So she got up and sat down beside him

She heard him mutter something. "Ezra?" she asked, inviting him to repeat what he said.

"Do you... do you wish that... I was the one... that died up there... and not your... mother?" he stammered softly, sobbing as he spoke. "Would you rather it have been me that died in your mother's place?"

Sabine turned to face Ezra. "Why would you think that?" she asked.

"Your mother would've done so much for the Rebellion. Think about what we could've achieved with her help. And then, there's me. I destroyed the Phantom, I got Ahsoka killed, Kanan's blind because of me, I endangered you, Zeb and Rex when we went to Reklam Station." he paused taking in a deep breath. "Then because of me, your mother's dead. I just... I just feel like a big burden to this alliance."

There was a moment of silence between the two teenagers, then Sabine spoke up. "You think you're the only one that made mistakes?" she asked him. "I messed up just as much as you have, probably even more. My own blood even labelled me a traitor," She turned to him and wrapped an arm around him. "We've all messed up somewhere Ezra, some more than others, some worse than others."

She placed both her hands on his face and turned his head to look her in the eyes. "But you are not a burden, Ezra. Don't ever think that." He nodded, wiping tears from his eyes. "You have a very special gift that only one other person in this alliance has. We need that gift and we need you."

Sabine embraced him in a hug, to which he gladly accepted. "I don't blame you for her death, Ezra. I know you did your best to save her. It was the Empire that killed her, not you." Upon hearing that, Ezra felt a huge weight lift from his shoulders, his heart no longer weighed down by guilt. They hugged for a long time, enjoying the comfort and safety of the embrace. When they pulled apart, she added: "And to answer your question, no. I don't wish that you were the one that died."

He nodded and looked up at her. "So you wanted someone to talk to?" he asked. She nodded and stood up, pulling him up with her. They sat down at the table and got talking.

 **A/N: Hello there! Hope you enjoyed this one-shot. I know it's been a long time since I posted a story, so here's one. I wrote this to try and get myself out of writer's block. And yeah, I'm not the best at writing funeral speeches, thought I'll admit again for reading and May The Force Be With You.**


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